Diss

[LeX]

Inspired by trenzterra's "jokes"... here are a few, add to the list and maybe some of us will find use of 'em one day.

"Your brother's so dumb he sold his car for gas money."
"Your sister's armpits smell so bad, the teacher gave her an A for not raising her hand."
"Your sister's been in the same grade for so long everyone thinks she's the teacher."
"Your brother's so thick he stared at a juice carton because it said concentrate."
"Your sister's so stupid he sat on the TV and watched the couch."
"Your aim is so bad you could throw at the ground and miss."
"You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mother."

[Akalon]

ROTFLMAO Those are actually very funny.

[LeX]

"I'm busy now. Do you mind if I ignore you some other time?"
"Let's play horse. I'll be the font end, and you just be yourself."
"I'd like to see you again -- but not in person."
"Your nose is so high in the air, every time you sneeze, you spray the ceiling."
"You must have trouble finding hats to fit your head. They don't make them that large."
"You have a great voice. It grates on everyone."
"The only time your voice sounds good is when you gargle."
"I wish you were on TV. THen I could turn you off."
"Do you realize every time you breathe, ten people in the world die?"
"You have so many things on your mind, you don't have any room for brains."

[LeX]

You remind me of arithmetic -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention and multiply ignorance. :D
You remind me of the letter "T" -- because you're always starting trouble and finishing last.
Your jokes are so funny, they're greeted by tremendous bursts of silence.
The only funny lines you have are in your face.
Some people are has beens. You're a never was.
You started on the bottom -- and it's been downhill ever since.
That was a popular song -- well, it was until you sang it.
Your tongue may be sharp, but your voice is flat.
If baloney were snow, you'd be a blizzard.
You don't have a better idea, just a louder voice.
I've seen better thighs on chickens.
I've seen better tongues on sneakers.
You're so boring that when you go to the beach, the tide refuses to come in.
Your ears are cute. Too bad there's nothing in between. ROTFLMAO

[roblev]

we have no life
we have no life
we have no life
we have no life
we have no life
we have no life
we have no life
we have no life
we have no life
we have no life
:biggrin2: :D :biggrin2: :D :biggrin2:

[trenzterra]

"You're so fat, even a mansion can't fit you"
"LeX's a joker, he jumps down WTC out of laughter(j/k)"
"A prostitute went into a coma, and forgot about sex"
"Hotlinking - You get hot and link"
"Remote loading - You load a remote control gun"
"Remote linking - Find a deserted place to link home"
"Free website provider is for people who are free, Paid website provider is for people who are paid to do a website"




"Your sister's so stupid he sat on the TV and watched the couch." He??

Go to my site for more jokes, see the jokes page, joke number #2 is funny.

[niv]

Originally posted by trenzterra
...
"LeX's a joker, he jumps down WTC out of laughter(j/k)"
How distasteful.

[DJsexie]

:D :D :D :D

HAHAHHAHA..these jokes are funny.........well except for the WTC one....that one's just not nice....

[Gayowulf]

Insults? you call those insults. here are some of mine.

actually its hard for me to list insults if I'm not actually insulting someone, so i wont list any.

[roblev]

:rolleyes:

[trenzterra]

"You get a Credit Card from a CC copy in an email"
"CA == Community Architect, CaNada, CArlifornia, ChArlie"
"Busy website providers - why isn't there any when many people need websites for their busy company?"
"Like sand through the millenium glass, so are the centuries of our life - Days of our life, American Soap Opera"

Here's the funny one:

"Laughing Out Loud is LOL, Crying out loud is COL, Anyone Out Loud is AOL."

[roblev]

Originally posted by trenzterra

"CA == Community Architect, CaNada, CArlifornia, ChArlie"
Here's the funny one:

"Laughing Out Loud is LOL, Crying out loud is COL, Anyone Out Loud is AOL."

Um, isn't that CA thingy from one of my posts? lol. :angry2:

AOL.... -------s on line

[Epgs]

some of these are pretty funny, but i can't insult people unless i think of something right then and there.

[niv]

The correct acronym for the following are these:

America On-line -> FA!OL: ******* America [Not] On Line
AOL Instant Messenger -> FA!IM: ******* A!OL !Instant Messenger

[Bruce]

America Online... so easy to abuse, no wonder it's number one.

[LeX]

trenzterra... no matter how hard I try, it's simply impossible for me to laugh at your jokes. :mad:

[trenzterra]

Originally posted by LeX
trenzterra... no matter how hard I try, it's simply impossible for me to laugh at your jokes. :mad: LeX... no matter how hard I try, it's simply impossible for me to laugh at your jokes too. :mad: :p

[roblev]

um, it is reaaly hard to laugh at anyone's jokes who posts on thr fws.net forums!!!ROTFLMAO

[trenzterra]

Originally posted by roblev
um, it is reaaly hard to laugh at anyone's jokes who posts on thr fws.net forums!!!ROTFLMAO aren't you laughing now? You're a lier!:p

[Dusty]

You're a lier!I lay down occasionally as well... or where you looking for the word "liar"?

That's a funny joke, Trenzterra. Is it your first one? :p

[roblev]

HELP! i am confused :confused: :confused: :confused:

[Bruce]

Originally posted by Dusty
I lay down occasionally as well... or where you looking for the word "liar"?

That's a funny joke, Trenzterra. Is it your first one? :p
ROTFLMAO

I love this guy (in a non-gay sort of way, heh). Always has some comment like that.

[Gayowulf]

I try to keep my comments to myself as much as possible

[Dusty]

HELP! i am confusedSeems to be a growing trend. I'll explain it in greater detail:

Trenzterra said "You're a lier!"

"Lier" is a word, but it is not the correct one. The word "lier" means someone that lays down. Trenzterra was looking for the word "liar", meaning someone who tells lies.

I said "I lay down occasionally as well", playing along, pretending that the word used was actually what Trenzterra meant to say. I then said "or where you looking for the word 'liar'?", which should had clued you, the reader, off to my intent.

The punch line follows, "That's a funny joke, Trenzterra. Is it your first one?". This was the point of the post, it indirectly insults Trenzterra for telling bad jokes.

Still confused?
I try to keep my comments to myself as much as possibleIs that why you have nearly 2500 posts? :D
I love this guy (in a non-gay sort of way, heh). Always has some comment like that.I do my best, and I always try to do it in a non-gay sort of way. ;)

[Daniel]

Just to add to the insult list...


"Your so stupid, you got stab in a shootout."
"Your so ugly, when you joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals"
"Your so ugly, when you look out the window, you got arrested for mooning."
"Your so ugly, they filmed "Gorrilas in the Mist" in your shower."
"Your so ugly, you made an onion cry."
"Your so ugly, you turned Medusa to stone."
"Your so stupid, you bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home"
"Your so stupid, you missed bus 44 but you took bus 22 twice."
"Your so stupid, you got fired from an M&Ms factory for throwing away all the W's."
"Your so stupid, you ordered sushi well done."
"Your so stupid, you called 7-11 when they were closed."
"Your so stupid, you got hit by a parked car."
"Your so stupid, you called the operator for the number for 911."

Just wait, theres more coming.

[niv]

Originally posted by trenzterra
aren't you laughing now? You're a lier!:p Trenz, he's not laughing with you, he's laughing at you. Make that distinction.

[LeX]

Originally posted by Hayama-kun
Trenz, he's not laughing with you, he's laughing at you. ROTFLMAO That's also a good one! ;)

[trenzterra]

Originally posted by Dusty
Seems to be a growing trend. I'll explain it in greater detail:

Trenzterra said "You're a lier!"

"Lier" is a word, but it is not the correct one. The word "lier" means someone that lays down. Trenzterra was looking for the word "liar", meaning someone who tells lies.

I said "I lay down occasionally as well", playing along, pretending that the word used was actually what Trenzterra meant to say. I then said "or where you looking for the word 'liar'?", which should had clued you, the reader, off to my intent.

The punch line follows, "That's a funny joke, Trenzterra. Is it your first one?". This was the point of the post, it indirectly insults Trenzterra for telling bad jokes.

Still confused?Is that why you have nearly 2500 posts? :DI do my best, and I always try to do it in a non-gay sort of way. ;)
It's a typo
Coz My brain was dead
You're lucky
To spot that typo
My e and a are all mixed up...
Lie...
Becomes Lia :D

[LeX]

Why would he be lucky to spot your typo? :confused:

[Gayowulf]

Originally posted by Dusty

Is that why you have nearly 2500 posts?

No. I comment, but I keep many comment that come to mind to myself. comments like "did the aliens forget to remove the anal probe?" basically i do my best to keep quiet when something pisses me off or makes me happy.

[trenzterra]

"Windows XP is so stupid, it wants to execute Perience(-X P, Linux command)"
"Osama's son is called Youngsama"
"Osama's wife is called Osami"
"Osama's daughter is called Daughtersama"
"Linux is a nut"
"Russia Offline is the long form of ROTFL"
"America Offline is an aeroplane. America's aeroplane is off the line."
"Dictionary: Idiot: The best person in the world"
"You're so dumb, even the second most dumbest person in the world is not as dumb as you."
"You're so stupid to get a CPU without a monitor"
"You're so ugly that you don;'t look like a human"
"You're too pretty for a human - you look more like an alien now"
"Martians comes from Mars, Earthians come from Earth"
"The hottest flower in the world - Sunflower"
"Osama bin Laden - Afghanistan's most lovable man"
"Osama's future death will be a tragedy - For Afghanistan"

[roblev]

Everything was going fine in those funny jokes except for these:


Originally posted by trenzterra
"You're too pretty for a human - you look more like an alien now"
"Martians comes from Mars, Earthians come from Earth"
"The hottest flower in the world - Sunflower"
"Osama bin Laden - Afghanistan's most lovable man"
"Osama's future death will be a tragedy - For Afghanistan"

They turned into compliments!

[trenzterra]

can't think of other quotes right now...

[roblev]

Your Mom is like an out of order coke machine put a dollar in and get screwed.
Your Mom is like clamchowder, thick and chunky
Your Mom is like a Soloflex, 20 minutes a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Your Mom is like a squirrel, she always has a nut in her mouth.
Your Mom is like diet Dr. Pepper, she tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper
Your Mom is like crack she's sold everywhere!
Your Mom is like the yellow pages: 9 out of ten use it and nothing else can match it
Your Mom is like shareware, try before you buy.
Your Mom is like a bad connection, she's always down and everyone's trying to get on
Your Mom is like the internet, thousands of people can be on her at once.
Your Mom is like the internet, always busy.
Your Mom is like pizza hut, be there in 30 minutes or it's free
Your Mom is like a race car, she burns 4 rubbers a day.
Your Mom's like a stop sign - she's on every corner.
Your Mom is like the ocean - big, wet, and smells like fish.
Your mom is like an avocado. I don't know why.
Your Mom is like a pool table, she'll rack your balls for a quarter.
Your Mom is like 10-10-321 after 20 min. shes 50% off.
Your mom's like a 7-11 -- open all night, hot to go and for 59 cents, she'll give you a slurpee.
Your Mom's like a moped, it's fun to ride until your friends see you on it.
Your Mom's like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
Your Mom's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
Your Mom's like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
Your Mom's like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
Your Mom's like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!
Your Mom's like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Your Mom's like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
Your Mom's like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay
Your Mom's like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
Your Mom's like a tomato sauce bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
Your Mom's like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
Your Mom's like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
Your Mom's like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
Your Mom's like a refrigerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Your Mom's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Your Mom's like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Your Mom's like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
Your Mom's like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
Your Mom's like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
Your Mom's like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Your Mom's like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
Your Mom's like Kix, kid tested, mother approved.
Your Mom's like cake mix, 15 servings per package!

[roblev]

Your Mom is so stupid she made a bid on eBay without checking the sellers feedback profile.
Your Mom is so stupid, your dad said,"I wanna eat your pussy." So she barbecued her cat.
Your Mom is so stupid that when she discovered her distributor was 180 degrees out, she had you hold it while she turned the car around!!
Your Mom is stupid she jumped out a window and went up!
Your Mom is so small she jumped off match box and commited suicide
this website is so stupid, i ought to k*** every single one of you for making it
You people are so stupid you actually think these jokes are funny
Your Mom is so stupid she robbed a bank for common sense.
Your Mom is so stupid she forgot the recipe to make ice cubes.
Your Mom on a stick, twirling around.
Your Mom is so stupid, she mailed a letter using a food stamp!
Your Mom is so stupid, she thought that Fruit Punch was a gay boxer.
Your Mom is so stupid she could't even pass a blood test.
Your Mom is so stupid she told me this joke and thought it was hilarious.
Your Mom is so stupid she got lost in the desert and froze to death
Your Mom is so stupid that she eats monopoly and craps connect four
Your Mom is so stupid she locked her self in side the car
Your Mom is so stupid she tried to shake hands with a palm tree.
Your Mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Your Mom is so stupid she didn't know what a tripple humbucker with two-way switching and a floyd rose double locking tremolo was.
Your Mom is so stupid she thought she needed a token to get into soul trian
Your Mom is so stupid she thinks these jokes are funny.
Your Mom is so stupid she brought her car back cause there were no gloves in the glove compartment
Your Mom is so stupid she said she couldn't afford a free car wash
Your Mom is so stupid, she thought the "W" on the Periodic Table stood for water.
Your Mom is so stupid, she brought a ladder to a Giants game!
Your Mom is so stupid she attatched 16 Mb of RAM into the 4916 PORT instead of her motherboard
Your Mom is so stupid, she got fired from a blowjob!
Your Mom is so stupid she brought a remote to the movies!
Your mom is so stupid she got locked in Mc Donalds and lost 150 pounds.
Your Mom is so stupid she couldn't get over the self-portrait she saw every time she walked into the bathroom.
Your Mom is so stupid she sold her tv to buy a video
Your Mom is so stupid she fell out of the window ironing the curtain
Your Mom is so stupid, she thinks the spirit realm is a basketball team!
Your Mom's so stupid she can only count to twenty if she's barefoot!
Your Mom is so stupid she drove to her car.
Your Mom is stupid she got locked inside food store and starved to death.
Your Mom is so stupid, she thinks you're smart!
Your Mom is so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the tape deck!
Your Mom is so stupid she got locked inside a motorcycle!
Your Mom is so stupid she thinks wreslting is real!
Your Mom's so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Your Mom's so stupid that she traded her car for gas money!!
Your Mom is so stupid, when I look into her eyes, I see the back of her head.
Your Mom's so stupid, when you were a baby she only changed your diaper once a month, because on the box it said "Good for up to 15 pounds".
Your Mom's so stupid, she got stabbed in a gun fight.
Your Mom is so stupid, she returned her car because she couldn't get closed captioning for the radio!
Your mom is so stupid; she thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.
Your Mom is so dumb she stared at the orange juice carton for five hours because it said 'concentrate'
Your mom's so stupid she threw a rock at the ground and missed!
Your mom is so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window!
Your mom is so stupid she got strangled by a cordless phone.
Your mom is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Your mom is so stupid when she robbed the store, she came out with a receipt.
Your mom is so stupid, she went to pick up your sister at the airport and saw a sign which said, "Airport Left", so turned around and went home.
Your Mom is so stupid she installed an ejection seat in a helicopter
Your Mom is so stupid she threw a ball in the air and missed.
Your Mom is so dumb she took a screwdriver and a sheet of paper and said, "I feel like eating a jelly donut."
Your Mom's so stupid she thinks having an ugly---- kid like you was her greatest achievement!
Your Mom's so dumb, she fell out of the tree raking leaves.
Your Mom's so stupid; you come in and say it's chilly outside, she'll run out with a spoon!
Your Mom's so stupid she tripped over the cordless phone.
Your Mom's so stupid she tried to drown a fish!
Your Mom's so stupid she tried to knock a bird off the cliff!
Your Mom's so stupid she sold the car for gas money.
Your Mom's so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
Your Mom's so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Your Mom's so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Your Mom's so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Your Mom's so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Your Mom's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
Your Mom's so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Your Mom's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Your Mom's so stupid, she had you!!
Your Mom's so stupid she got hit by a parked car!
Your Mom's so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Your Mom's so stupid she thought a quarterback was a money back refund.
Your Mom's so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Your Mom's so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Your Mom's so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Your Mom's so stupid she thought taco bell was a mexican phone company.
Your Mom's so stupid she clicked on an Ad Banner!
Your Mom's so stupid she saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" so the ----- went home.
Your Mom's so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Your Mom's so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Your Mom's so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Your Mom's so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Your Mom's so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Your Mom's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Your Mom's so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Your Mom's so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Your Mom's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Your Mom's so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Your Mom's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Your Mom's so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Your Mom's so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Your Mom's so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Your Mom's so stupid she stole free bread.
Your Mom's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Your Mom's so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Your Mom's so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Your Mom's so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Your Mom's so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Your Mom's so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Your Mom's so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Your Mom's so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Your Mom's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

[roblev]

:jump: ROTFLMAO :whatthe: :jump:

[trenzterra]

Whats so great about my mom?:p:D

[LeX]

Originally posted by roblev
Your Mom is so stupid she thinks these jokes are funny. True... very true.

[Akalon]

I like:

Your Mom's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

[LeX]

Originally posted by roblev
Your Mom's so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Your Mom's so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Your Mom's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Your Mom's so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Your Mom's so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
These were mentioned before already..... did you get 'em from the same place?

And I noticed some repeats...

[trenzterra]

Originally posted by LeX
These were mentioned before already..... did you get 'em from the same place?

And I noticed some repeats... probably he was too engrossed in writing that he forgot that he said that, so he repeated.

[ADD]
My 1337 post!

[LeX]

Originally posted by trenzterra
probably he was too engrossed in writing that he forgot that he said that, so he repeated. I doubt he "wrote" it.

[trenzterra]

Originally posted by LeX
I doubt he "wrote" it. Maybe he didn't coz he replied quite fast.

What he did: Cut and Paste.

[LeX]

Originally posted by trenzterra
What he did: Cut and Paste. Way to go, Einstein. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

[Akalon]

Originally posted by LeX
Way to go, Einstein. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

lmao

[roblev]

Originally posted by trenzterra
Maybe he didn't coz he replied quite fast.

What he did: Cut and Paste.


Yup, and you can see the originals at http://www.yourmom.com <---lol, looks like yahoo :biggrin2:

[trenzterra]

another joke:

"AIM(AOL Instant Messenger) - aim for what?"

[roblev]

Originally posted by trenzterra
another joke:

"AIM(AOL Instant Messenger) - aim for what?"


True.