I got a funny joke here(funnier than the MarHost joke)

[trenzterra]

Well it goes like this:


One man didn't understand English. He went to the supermarket and someone shouted "Yes!" So that guy memorized it. Soon after someone went to the toilet and another person said "In the toilet". So he memorized it too.

Just then, he saw someone winning 4D(Some kind of horse racing thing in Singapore where 4 horses race and if the digits come out correctly, you win) and the person shoued "Hooray!" He also memorized it.

A police saw him and was suspicious. He asked the man "Did you murder someone?" The man replied "Yes!"

The police asked again "Where did you murder that person?" The man replied "In the toilet"

So the policed told him that he is going to jail for 5 years.
The man then replied "Hooray!"

funny wasn't it?

[niv]

Stupid. Well, I don't find many things funny.

[Canuckkev]

If by funny you mean funny because of it's horrificly lame attempt at being funny, then yes.

[Canuckkev]

You may have seen this one in a certain recent music video (Carmelina - Matthew Good Band).

Two termites walk into a bar and ask, "Where's the bartender?"











Get it?














Still don't get it?












Think about it. Say the words slowly. While thinking.

[stu]

*starts throwing rotten tomatoes*

[Akalon]

Originally posted by Canuckkev
You may have seen this one in a certain recent music video (Carmelina - Matthew Good Band).

Two termites walk into a bar and ask, "Where's the bartender?"











Get it?














Still don't get it?












Think about it. Say the words slowly. While thinking.

It took me 30 seconds to work that one out, it's almost as lame as Trenzterra's :D

[nerocities]

Ok, all you all suck at jokes, so here comes one you should think is amusing at the least.. I hope :)


A guy walks into a convience store, the sign says:
hamburgers- $2.00
Cheeseburgers- $3.00
Handjobs- $5.00
He asks the pretty young blonde cashier if she’s the one who give’s those $5 handjobs.
“why yes I am” she replied.
“Then wash your hands, and make me a cheeseburger.”

Batta Bing!.. Batta Boom!

?? Like it?

[Theo]

Guy1:Hey !! What are you doing outside???? Come in, ITS RAINING !!!

Guy2: So? Its raining here also !!

[LeX]

Canuckkev... damn, that was lame! :D

Here's one...

A guy walks down a street and sees people crowding around a fortune teller. The guy askes the person next to him what's going on, and the person tells him that this fortune teller can prevent one from drowning. So this guy thinks hey, this is great, I'll never have to worry about drowning! So he steps into the waiting line.

The line steadily progressed, and it was not long before it was his turn. He sees a table with a paintbrush and a bottle of black ink. The fortune teller is standing behind it. "Twenty bucks," says the fortune teller. He pays up, and the fortune teller tells him to roll up his shirt. He obeyed. The fortune teller bent over and studied the guy's stomach. Then he picked up the paintbrush, dipped it into the ink, and then drew a thick line across the guy's stomach and told him solemnly, "don't let the water go above this line and you won't drown."

[Gayowulf]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".


now there is a joke.

[Giancarlo]

Is there are barfing smile? These jokes are extremely lame and quite pathetic.

[trenzterra]

Originally posted by Giancarlo
Is there are barfing smile? These jokes are extremely lame and quite pathetic. You all only like to critisise people.

[Gayowulf]

Originally posted by Giancarlo
Is there are barfing smile?

All your laughs are belong to me. ;)



Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog.

They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.

Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.

The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish. Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!


you've gotta admit this one is a good bit funnier.

[Giancarlo]

Originally posted by trenzterra
You all only like to critisise people.

You and I know, this humor isn't right. I critise people for a reason and that is for bad, stale humor.

[razor]

Originally posted by Canuckkev
You may have seen this one in a certain recent music video (Carmelina - Matthew Good Band).

Two termites walk into a bar and ask, "Where's the bartender?"



Get it?



Still don't get it?



Think about it. Say the words slowly. While thinking.

i................. dont........................ understand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im going to go into autistic mode now.....

[nerocities]

Edited after I realized it would insult giancarlo's intellect.

[razor]

Originally posted by trenzterra
You all only like to critisise people.
and you only like to critisise people who critisise other people:fork:

[Giancarlo]

Originally posted by nerocities
Edited after I realized it would insult giancarlo's intellect.

Give me your best shot.

[LeX]

Originally posted by razor
i................. dont........................ understand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im going to go into autistic mode now..... Try breaking apart the word "bartender". :rolleyes:

[nerocities]

Giancarlo,

My statement for you is simply this:

"It is better to be quiet and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."


Why pick on people for having fun? The puking icon should be for the complete and utter disrespect you showed everyone by posting that nasty comment. You removed all doubt.

[Canuckkev]

Gayo: Liked that one.

I have more sexist pig jokes. Here they go (try not to be too offended ladies, if there are any):

What do you do if your wife wants a new watch? Tell her there's a clock on the stove!

Why did the woman cross the road? (I don't know) . I don't know either, but she should have been in the kitchen making me a pie!

(Taliban joke) What is a woman looking at if shes looking at a blank piece of paper? Her rights!



Hmmm....well, not that funny, but I didn't make em up.
I know some real rascist jokes too. They can be funny, but many people mistake me for being rascist because of them.

[trenzterra]

Originally posted by Canuckkev
Gayo: Liked that one.

I have more sexist pig jokes. Here they go (try not to be too offended ladies, if there are any):

What do you do if your wife wants a new watch? Tell her there's a clock on the stove!

Why did the woman cross the road? (I don't know) . I don't know either, but she should have been in the kitchen making me a pie!

(Taliban joke) What is a woman looking at if shes looking at a blank piece of paper? Her rights!



Hmmm....well, not that funny, but I didn't make em up.
I know some real rascist jokes too. They can be funny, but many people mistake me for being rascist because of them. What does that joke have to do with a taliban?

[bigperm]

I think it was meant to mean that Taliban women have no rights. Which would be accurate, if there were women in the Taliban.

[Cyber]

Three men are waiting at the hospital for their wives to have babies. After what seems an eternity, the nurse finally walks into the waiting room and goes up to the first guy and says "Congratulations sir, you've just had twins!"

"Wow, this is great!" he exclaims, "And, what a coincidence, I work at Twin City Federal!"



A half hour later the nurse comes back into the waiting room, approaches the second guy and says "Congratulations sir, you've just had triplets!"



"Are you serious?!" he replies, "This is the greatest day of my life! Gosh, what a coincidence, I work at 3M!"



At this moment the third guys says "That's it, I'm outta here!".



The second guy asks why.



Third guy says "I work at 10,000 Auto Parts!"


hmmm

[Cyber]

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Club/9129/lostintranslation.html

pretty funny!!

[terahertz]

Originally posted by trenzterra
You all only like to critisise people.

That's becoz u r lame....:chinese2: