Is this an irrational thought?

[Blank Verse]

I have this sneaking suspicion that my roomate and his buddy double teamed his girlfriend last night, or at some point in the past few days, when I haven't been around.

I just get a weird vibe about it. My roomate is actually a touch homophobic (he'll never admit it, he's one of those cliched "enlightened" Arts Major university students), but his buddy Scott is actually pretty close with him and his girlfriend that I could actually see it happening. It's kind of funny, they're all a little bit lame and reclusive and act like old people, but I still have this feeling that when the apartment is empty, holes are getting filled all over the place.

Now, I couldn't give two ----s if this was actually the case, but the thing is, my fear is that it happened on my couch. I don't want to have to throw it out and get a new one when I move out :p

[iBrightDev]

meh, just steam clean it. long as there is no poopy juice on it, who cares ;)

[Blank Verse]

God, I have to go burn it now after that comment.

[Skylar]

meh, just steam clean it. long as there is no poopy juice on it, who cares ;)

that was good.


Why don't you go up to your roomate and be all "and why wasn't I invited to the party?!"

[Robert]

Your post brings back memories of when I was in high school.

[bigperm]

I only knew one girl who liked being air-tight.

[Canuckkev]

I thought you were going to say that you were jealous that you weren't a part of it. Don't worry, your time will come.

[TSO]

Ask them. :D

[stuffradio]

Can somebody say party in Canada!? W00t W00t!

[themoose]

Lovely thread.

Make a bunch of double entendres, loads, see how they react.

[DavidsAwesome]

I suppose you could get a nanny cam... but only if it really, really bugs you... Otherwise it'd just be perverted and intrusive.

You could just ask... or kind of hint at it. Say like... "she seems hairy" or something... see how the best friend reacts.

[Blank Verse]

I thought you were going to say that you were jealous that you weren't a part of it. Don't worry, your time will come.

She is...less than attractive, in my opinion. And like...they're dudes. So there's that.



The double entendre game is already in high gear. I've said sloppy seconds so many times today it's starting to be less funny and more annoying.

Seriously though, anyone know whee I can get a good deal on a new couch?

[iBrightDev]

go to one of those little Mexican furniture sales places. if you dont have in your town, then not sure.

[Gayowulf]

If you get a new couch, keep the soiled one for visitors. I have a tainted futon.

Guests get to sleep on it. :)

[utcrazy]

Ditch the couch, bean bag chair all the way.

[Blank Verse]

God, I just had an image of this whole thing going on on a bean bag chair.


Excuse me, I'm needed at the toilet.

[Jan]

Are you planning on moving soon?

[Blank Verse]

Actually, yes, I am. I don't much care for my roommate, and especially not for his girlfriend, and my rent is going up in April, so to hell with this place.

[Jan]

Here's a rational thought :p

If you can't tell the couch was used "for that", is your landlord likely to?

[Blank Verse]

Are you suggesting that I give the couch to my landlord as a gift?

[Dean]

I only knew one girl who liked being air-tight.
You crack me up man.


Blank Verse Are you suggesting that I give the couch to my landlord as a gift?

Sounds like a lovely gift!

[Jan]

Are you suggesting that I give the couch to my landlord as a gift?
Sorry I misread. I thought you were replacing it when you moved out to keep the landlord happy. oldman2

[stuffradio]

Are you suggesting that I give the couch to my landlord as a gift?
Yes, I am! :lol:

[Canuckkev]

She is...less than attractive, in my opinion. And like...they're dudes. So there's that.


Standards are a good thing. But if she were really hot, and you had a good friend...well, it might be worth trying. Just saying.

You could get one of those blacklights, and scan the couch/room for bodily fluids like they do on CSI. But that will likely just confirm your fears, and you are no better off. You could do some hardcore cleaning, I suppose. But that might not fix everything. Maybe when you move out, give them an offer to buy the couch from you.

[themoose]

You could get one of those blacklights, and scan the couch/room for bodily fluids like they do on CSI. But that will likely just confirm your fears, and you are no better off.

That's a very good idea.

[Blank Verse]

Yeah, thanks Kev. I think in this case, I'll just do what I normally do. reckless use of fire.

[Ben]

She is...less than attractive, in my opinion. And like...they're dudes. So there's that.[snip]

DUFF?*

*a ticketable offense in Iowa, you know...

[mess451]

I don't think so

[Blank Verse]

DUFF?*

*a ticketable offense in Iowa, you know...

Porkin' the fugly? God, they're all criminals than.

[Nick]

I don't see how a guy could want to double team his girlfriend. On the other hand, I have no problem with a girlfriend bringing in female friends or roommates for tag team action. Double standard I guess.

I think you should definitely wait to get another couch until after you move out though, to avoid the possibility of it becoming infected as well. Just another thought though, are you buying a brand new couch? If not a used one could have a sexual history that is even worse because you have no idea what it entails.

As for where to buy a new one, I've always seen really comfortable and cheap couches at Big Lots stores. I don't know if you have those in Canada, but might want to look in one if you do.

[DavidsAwesome]

I've always seen really comfortable and cheap couches at Big Lots stores..

:eek: I had no clue they had couches there.

[notnamed]

My dad got a really nice suede couch from Big Lots. I have it now, it's pretty comfy. I slept on it once a week for a couple months - not so great for that, but it was pretty reasonably priced, and is very comfortable for how much it cost.

[Blank Verse]

I don't see how a guy could want to double team his girlfriend. On the other hand, I have no problem with a girlfriend bringing in female friends or roommates for tag team action. Double standard I guess.

I think you should definitely wait to get another couch until after you move out though, to avoid the possibility of it becoming infected as well. Just another thought though, are you buying a brand new couch? If not a used one could have a sexual history that is even worse because you have no idea what it entails.

As for where to buy a new one, I've always seen really comfortable and cheap couches at Big Lots stores. I don't know if you have those in Canada, but might want to look in one if you do.

It's not so much a double standard. Why would any heterosexual guy want to spend time putting his penis in the same person as another dude's penis at the same time. Two girls makes sense, because more likely than not, you're going to want a piece of both of them anyway, might as well save time :p

I think I'm just never going to sit down ever again.

[bigperm]

Two guys and one girl is a 'Devil's Threesome'.

[stuffradio]

Two ducks 1 cup lawl

[Jan]

Two guys and one girl is a 'Devil's Threesome'.

The girl mightn't think so ;)

[Blank Verse]

No one cares what the girl thinks :p

[Nick]

No one cares what the girl thinks :p

In this thread, truth.

[Cam.]

Just light the couch on fire... And make sure to video it for us :D

[Blank Verse]

Well, I do like filming my own acts of arson....

[Gayowulf]

This thread is worthless without pictures or video.

I wanna see some stains. ;)

[iBrightDev]

yeah, we need poopy juice stains. :P

ok, now that i have completely disgusted myself, you got pics?

[Zombie]

God this thread is freaking weird as all hell lol

Like whoever said give that one to the landlord and buy anew

LOL!

[Craig]

Explicit sh1t

[iBrightDev]

God this thread is freaking weird as all hell lol

Like whoever said give that one to the landlord and buy anew

LOL!

youve been here for like 8 months, and should no by now to expect nothing less from us. especially when BV starts a thread. :lol:

[Blank Verse]

They do tend to branch out in a certain direction, don't they? :p

Anywho, you know how Kev was suggesting the CSI black light stain finder? Is there a specific "somehow hard to spot poo stain" type blacklight? Because nothing is visible on the surface, and I have the match in my hand, just waiting for someone to offer up an alternative :p

[iBrightDev]

haha, that is to great bro.

[themoose]

They do tend to branch out in a certain direction, don't they? :p

Anywho, you know how Kev was suggesting the CSI black light stain finder? Is there a specific "somehow hard to spot poo stain" type blacklight? Because nothing is visible on the surface, and I have the match in my hand, just waiting for someone to offer up an alternative :p

It should display any bodily fluids, but I expect it's already full of them from sweat and ----.

And by ---- I mean "other stuff". Perhaps including ----.

[Nick]

Torch it.

Just don't forget to take it outside first.

[JohnN]

It should display any bodily fluids, but I expect it's already full of them from sweat and ----.

And by ---- I mean "other stuff". Perhaps including blood, no one does that stuff on my sofa and gets away with it

fckin fixed.

[stuffradio]

Throw it out the window and light it on fire before you throw it out the window.

Note: I am not responsible for the actions you take. Should you follow my advice, it's your fault... not mine!

[Blank Verse]

Um, no, pretty sure its your fault.

<edit> While I'm pretty sure I'm not going to torch my couch, all this talk has made me want to film me burning SOMETHING...so watch out for that.

[stuffradio]

Dude... I just said it wasn't my fault! :o

[Blank Verse]

Yeah, but the difference is that I'm right.

[iBrightDev]

i am not sure about that, you dont have your cape anymore. hard to follow a non-super hero. ;)

[Blank Verse]

The cape lives on inside all of us. Plus I have it ready whenever I need to whip it out. Every superhero needs a good alter ego.

[mess451]

absolutely yes.