I am a reverend

[FluxFX]

http://fluxfx.net/images/church.gif ;]

i became one online at http://www.ulc.org/

It’s 100% legit and totally free. I can perform marriages, forgive sins, the whole shebang.

[drunkmule]

I wonder if I can become a rabbi?

[Koolguy]

hehe, I never heard of a online course to become a reverend

[FluxFX]

http://www.ulc.org/ulchq/discourse4.htm i can so exorcism too ;]

[Coolin]

This is just freaky. You can start your own congregation? This is freaky, really, real freaky. Exorcism for all? That is even more freaky.

[Koolguy]

Exorcism wtf!!!

[Mandrake]

Originally posted by Koolguy
hehe, I never heard of a online course to become a reverend

It's not a course... Just a simple form you fill out and you get the certificate at the end. They've been around for years... I was ordained back in 1995. Except now they give a colour certificate. :)

[Coolin]

Just a form! That's even worse! Now some dude who knows absolutely nothing can come in and mess around with the dominant religion!

[syanet]

I looked into that a while back and apparently the ULC's leader was imprisioned back in the 80's for tax evasion and he had some other legal problems as well. My first thought after seeing this was the Simpsons where they joined the cult.

[jason]

Choices always were a problem for you.
What you need is someone strong to guide you.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
what you need is someone strong to use you..
like me,
like me.

If you want to get your soul to heaven,
trust in me .
Don't judge or question.
You are broken now ,
but faith can heal you.
Just do everything I tell you to do.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow.
Let me lay my holy hand upon you.

My Gods will
becomes me.
When he speaks out,
he speaks through me.
He has needs
like I do.
We both want
to rape you.

Jesus Christ, why don't you come save my life.
Open my eyes and blind me with your light
and your lies.

[LeX]

............... :confused:

[rockergrrl]

Actually its not ligit really... No church in their right mind is going to hire someone that got a certificate just from filling out a form and then printed it out on their printer. Churches want someone that has gone to a Seminary and has had YEARS of training -- Bible training. And they're especially not going to hire a teenager.. :D

Its not legit when you think about it...
You: "I'm a reverand..."
Them: "Oh yeah, we'd you get your training from??"
You: "Oh I just went to this website, filled out a form, and *POOF* I'm a reverand."

LOL

God knows my church wouldn't hire you... I personally don't think much of any church that would... LOL

NOTE: I'm not being hard on you or being synical... I'm just rattling away... :)

Congrats.... Reverand... ;)

[Zitech_Industries]

It is legit! I've been performing baptisms for two years. PRAISE THE LORD!

[Mandrake]

Originally posted by rockergrrl
Actually its not ligit really... No church in their right mind is going to hire someone that got a certificate just from filling out a form and then printed it out on their printer. Churches want someone that has gone to a Seminary and has had YEARS of training -- Bible training. And they're especially not going to hire a teenager.. :D

Its not legit when you think about it...
You: "I'm a reverand..."
Them: "Oh yeah, we'd you get your training from??"
You: "Oh I just went to this website, filled out a form, and *POOF* I'm a reverand."

LOL

God knows my church wouldn't hire you... I personally don't think much of any church that would... LOL

NOTE: I'm not being hard on you or being synical... I'm just rattling away... :)

Congrats.... Reverand... ;)

In many states (including Arizona, where I live), anyone who's an ordained minister can perform weddings... Including a ULC ordainment. I can legally marry somebody if I wanted to. :)

[Webdude]

The problem is that now days churches require training, when someone like myself knows the Bible inside and out. Why do I need training when I have changed many preacher/pastors/etc views on things? What gets me it some of the ridiculous stuff people believe. Pne preacher started a discussion with me about Revelation where John describes "what looks to be a mountain on fire flying thru the sky". This guy argued till blue in the face that it was the Holy Mountain of God coming down to Earth. I'm sorry, but anyone who has even a half witted understanding of the Bible will know God doesnt, and never has worked like that. Imagine someone back then trying to describe a ballistic missile coming back into the atmosphere....or even a space shuttle for that fact. Dont even get me started on Genisis or anything between there and Revelation...LOL

So should be allowed to goto work for a church because of some school diploma? Or because of what you know. But I prefer to get controversial....like the fact that God can be either "All-Knowing" or "All Powerful", but not both..

Yeah, I sure do enjoy it when the Missionary's or 7th Day Adventist decide to stop by. Come to think of it, neither have come by in quite a while now :-)

[Toefur]

hey cool,

so i can have some priesty-religious type powers just by filling out this form?

does it matter if im not a christian? ah well. exorcism could come in handy.

[Webdude]

Originally posted by Toefur
ah well. exorcism could come in handy.

Wouldnt that be harmful to your health? hehe

[drunkmule]

I wouldn't mind if I could become a Rabbi over night

[Toefur]

Hehe, webdude >:)

Actually, I was thinking how is it you've actually managed to many preachers/pastors/etc views on things??

I mean, I've studied the Bible and all that sort of thing a bit... and for the life of me, I can't get Christians to agree on some things with me (not hoping to cause offense to any there may be here). I mean, like... I can sit there and say "look... -heres- PROOF of this, and -heres- more, and also the Bible doesnt say such and such..." And I can go on for hours... and they simply REFUSE to see things from any other angle than their own. ARG!

I get so worked up about stuff like this 'cuz my ex girlfriend was like that. Like we'd always be talking about something or other and i'd be like "Well, heres why something or other happened" and she would go on with "No... God told me such and such"...

oh dear. :)

[jiminsd]

Sounds to me like you got a BS degree.

[Webdude]

Toefur >> thats because I enjoy arguing the point. I can make the Bible contradict itself as well as support itself.

I can point out to you where it speaks of the United States, and I can show you proof that there were entities other than Man, Angels, and God.

I can show you aliens in the Bible, which were probably also the other entities that are other than the above.

I can show you also that the mark of the beast will not affect the western world, but that the western world will still be plagued with a slow economy and some unusual weather patterns which make things much harder.

I can show you that the end is not anywhere near. Let me explain that one. It says that when he comes, he will come like a thief in the night. This means he will not be expected. For the past 200 years people have been expecting it at anytime. Not until the belief in the Bible starts to falter and it becomes little more than a small belief in a group of thousands of cults, will it happen. Remember, it also says there will only be 144,000 believers left. Theres still a long time to come before the number gets that small. None of us here will see the end in our lifetimes.

As technology and world communication grows, and countries become closer to all being friends, it will become almost impossible to believe a deadly planet wide war could happen. The real war will be unexpected as well....and there are actually 2 wars, the Battle of Fire and Armageddon (Megaddon). I almost thought I was wrong once, Desrt Storm with all the burning oil was certainly a battle of fire..

As you can see, I'm not interested in saving people. You can all burn in hell for all I care...LOL (j/k)

[}:8) Supermoo]

Originally posted by drunkmule
I wouldn't mind if I could become a Rabbi over night

You can...



23. Special Titles: $12.50 Use the list that follows:

Bishop, Monsignor, Cardinal, Lama, Right Reverend, Deacon, Guru, Arch Priest, Spritual Counselor,Colonel, Sister, Archbishop, Field Missionary, Friar, Abbot, Reverend Mother, Arch Deacon, Brahman, Bible Historian, Rabbi, Dervish, Brother, Father, Universal Religious Philosopher, Shaman, Swami, Magus, Patriarch, Healing Minister, Pastor General, Elder, Evangelist, Metropolitan, Thanatologist, Free Thinker, Mystical Philospher, Ascetic Gnostic, Universal Rabbi, ....


So the question is, do you want to pay $12.50 to become a rabbi? hehe... I'm thinking about being a monk or maybe a pope! ;)

[Koolguy]

Or a Guru

[rockergrrl]

So the question is, do you want to pay $12.50 to become a rabbi? hehe... I'm thinking about being a monk or maybe a pope! ;)

A Rabbi is of the Jewish faith...

Monk and the Pope is Catholic...

There's a difference between the faiths... :)

Sorry...had to clarify... :D

[}:8) Supermoo]

Don't worry, not that silly! ;)

It clearly claims under that the names are purkey for ego purposes. Also, I believe you can follow other faiths in the Uninted Faith Church (or whatever).

Also, they offer legal Doctor courses etc. for a small fee, I mean donation *cough*, hmmm... sounds a little odd. ;)

[Gayowulf]

So father fluxfx have you taken a vow of celibacy?

Reverend i have a question If the world is an unjust world, then is God an unjust God?


id ask you to forgive my sins, but i think only a bishop would be able.

phooey to being a priest,reverend,pope,nun,monk etc. I wanna be the dalai lama. tell me if you find a form for that.

if not i think i will go out and start my own religion and ill only charge and arm and a leg (and your daughter) to get a certificate

anyways i recall some one saying that everyone knows that priests are homosexual pedophiles (that person also acused a teacher of "subverting" the minds of children by reading harry potter and shel silverstein books to her class) so it probably isnt true (and i hope so for fluxfx's sake);)

[Edited by Gayowulf on 02-11-2001 at 08:04 PM]