I guess it was destiny...

[Robert]

I graduated high school back in 2002. My senior year I was introduced to a girl that I instantly fell for, her name was Katie Mills. Katie Mills was a dancer and she was in my Economics class. Katie was going out with a dude named David. While they were going out, I'd notice she'd always be looking at me in class and when I'd look at her, she'd turn her head. She also would give me that "i'm pisst at you attitude", which girls gave when they liked the guy.

In January of 2002 I had a lucky break! Katie broke up with David and was single! Not only this, but I was transferred to another class and guess who was in it.. Katie Mills! We she sat behind me, facing the other way, and still gave me that "I'm pisst at you attitude". Keep in mind our conversation were short.. 1 or 2 words. We never really spoke.

I decided to ask her out. The day came and went and I didn't. I did speak to her that day, but instead of the words "will you go out with me" turned out to be "did you do the homework?". The day ended, I went up, smoked a blunt with my (at the time) Bestfriend Andy. The next day I go to school and I find out that Katie is going out with some dude named Randy. WHAT?! I say.. THIS SUCKS!!

So my entire day I'm bitter. I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm confused. The day ends and I go home and smoke a blunt with Andy. That night I was able to talk to Katie Mills online and I tell her that I liked her and I was going to ask her out.. she tells me if I did, she would have said yes. DOH! So that night I'm feeling pretty bad and down and I remember my friend (Andy) trying to comfort me. This sucks!! If I had just asked her she would have said YES!!

I have regretted that day ever since. Today I find out Katie Mills was in a car accident and has passed. I'm torn, I'm hurt, I'm sad, I don't know what I'm feeling. I feel like crying. I feel like screaming. I feel like .. I don't know.. and I'll never know cuz she's gone!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really sadden. This sucks... I just had to get this off my chest...

[Ashed]

That's tough... Do you still have feelings for her now? :(
How do you know she passed away?

[Robert]

That's tough... Do you still have feelings for her now? :(
How do you know she passed away?
Yea I still have feelings for her. I found ou from 2 of my friends this morning.

[Blank Verse]

I have to admit, I thought this story was headed in a different, more pleasant direction. But that's a huge shocker. I've never really been in a situation like yours before, Robert, so I don't think I could possibly understand how you feel, but I offer my deepest condolences to you, and her family. No one can really explain why these things happen, but yeah, this type of thing really sucks. If it makes you feel any better, it sounded like she died happy. I know I'd want to leave that way.

[Robert]

Thanks. I try not to think about it too much. When my friend asked me if I heard about katie and i said no and she said that she was killed.. I couldn't put two and two together. Katie.. dead. I still don't believe it. Apparently she died last night/this morning on her way down from UF (University of Florida). She was in a car accident. I'm distraught. It hasn't hit me yet. Probably won't. I will keep scanning the news for information about her and see if there is a funeral that I can attend.

[Wojtek]

I'm inviting you for a 'blunt', seems it helped you before :)

My condoleances robert, a deadth of someone important is always hard.
Phone her family or look in the newspaper for funeral informations.
Rip Katie

[Robert]

I'm inviting you for a 'blunt', seems it helped you before :)

My condoleances robert, a deadth of someone important is always hard.
Phone her family or look in the newspaper for funeral informations.
Rip Katiehaha thanks. but I don't do that anymore. And that's why I said my "at the time" bestfriend. He, has decided that smoking weed, drinking and hanging out with the wrong crowd, those who aren't his "true" friends, just those who keep him around to smoke, is the better choice than anything. I decided I didn't need friends like that.

[Daniel]

Wow, that must suck dude...The story reminds of something I found on some gay website...



10th Grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my
so called best friend. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and i knew it. After class, she walked up to
me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her.
She said "thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want
her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

11th Grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and
on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alon, so I did. As i sat next to her on the sofa, I stared
at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't
want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior Year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's
not going to go." Well , i didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise
if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did.
Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared
at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine,
but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. The she said "I had the best time,
thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I
don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before i could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I
wanter her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and knew it. Before everyone
went , she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. The she lifetd her
head from my shoulder and said, "You're my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on
the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched
her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanter her
to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away,
she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks!" and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love
her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend".
At the service, they read a diary enty she had wrote in her high school years. This
what it read:

"I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know
it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I
love him but I 'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved
me!"

"I wish i did too.." I thought to myself, and I cried.

:confused2

My condolences to you, her, her family, and friends.

[Robert]

Wow...

I think in a way maybe it's better that I didn't go out with her, even tho the saying "it's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved". Right now I'm mourning the lost of a friend, which is hard. But I think it would have been harder to mourn the lost of a girlfriend. So in a way, I'm glad that I didn't ask her out.. because this way, I don't hurt so much.

But damn it hurts. It hurts a lot. The world feels empty.

[Fuzzylogic]

we've all had those thoughts well at least minus the death part of what would of happened if i'd just done that or every other possible way we can think of. i guess it happens for a reason, even if we can't see it at the moment until some time has passed. i'd wish to pass on my condolences to the family and friends.

[FrostyJohn]

Wow Robert.. I am sorry for your pain man. I really am...

When I was 15 my best friend and girlfriend died. He was 15 and had a Heart Attack while driving and she dies in the resulting car wreck. It was devastating. it took ma a really really long time to get over it.

I am 40 now and have a wife and children and am very very happy, but one of the stories I have told my wife was this long, sad story of death so close.

I feel your pain. It will pass but until then we will keep you in our thoughts and hope you will be okay.

[darkcurves]

Whoa, that sucks. I have lost alot of friends coz of car accidents, i too know how it feels. It will take awhile before you get over it.

[Dean]

woh .. Condolences to all involved

[LeX]

I am sorry we cannot share your pain with you...

[Robert]

*sigh*

Tomorrow is the service. The wake is at 7PM, the service is at 8PM. I will be attending. This sucks. I really don't want to see her.

[notnamed]

Man Rob I'm sorry to hear that... like Blank I thought the story was going in a completely different direction and I had even copied a piece to the clipboard so I could quote it and make a sarcastic comment... that sucks. I've never had a friend die... ever. I've had family members die, in particular my great-grandfather whose house we live in now but that's the closest I can relate to you :(

[conkermaniac]

That's terrible, Robert. :(

There was nothing you could have done to prevent this. Try to let go....

[Robert]

Thanks Guys, here's a copy of the article in the paper:

osted on Wed, May. 05, 2004

KATIE MILLS

Accomplished dancer, student

BY REBECCA DELLAGLORIA

rdellagloria@herald.com

Katie Mills had just finished her last final for the semester. She wasn't supposed to leave for Miami from Florida State University until the next day, but a friend from home offered her a ride.

Her mother didn't want her driving alone.

Friday evening, just after the Fort Pierce exit on Florida's Turnpike, the car Mills was driving veered off the road and rolled over. Mills was ejected and died instantly.

She was 19.

Mills grew up in South-Miami Dade.

She was an accomplished dancer who excelled in many forms of dance -- tap, jazz, lyrical and ballet.

She left her private elementary school, Cutler Ridge Christian Academy, in fifth grade when she was accepted into the dance magnet program at R.R. Moton Elementary school in South Miami-Dade.

''I loved to watch her dance,'' said her mother, Rebecca Mills.

``Whether it was tap or ballet, she was a natural.''

Mills continued her middle and high school years in dance magnet programs at Southwood Middle School and Coral Reef High School and was a member of the Jill Mallory Studio of Dance in Pinecrest from the time she was 3 until her senior performance in 2002.

''Katie was willing to try anything,'' said Kim Brokaw, owner of the dance studio and Mills' instructor for 10 years. ``[She wasn't afraid] to do a leap and land down on her stomach.''

Mills was also a dedicated student, who earned a high enough GPA in high school to qualify for a Florida Bright Futures Scholarship, which paid for 75 percent of her college tuition.

She was listed in the prestigious Who's Who book series, in the Who's Who Among American High School students for the 2001-2002 academic year.

Her first semester at FSU, Mills made the dean's list.

Mills was thinking about pursuing a degree in recreation and leisure services administration.

She was also a member of FSU's Flying High Circus, helping to ring the tents and set up the trapeze.

''She was just a well-rounded girl, very talented and beautiful all around,'' recalled David Spear, a friend from high school.

''A lot of people loved her,'' he said.

Mills' mother, Rebecca Mills, said her daughter's death might have been prevented if she had only been wearing a seat belt.

The passenger in the car told her that Mills had taken off her seat belt for a moment to find something -- a CD or cellphone -- and lost control of the car.

''We just want people to always wear your seat belt, never take it off for a second,'' Rebecca Mills said.

``And pay attention when your driving. It's really important.''

In addition to her mother, Mills is survived by her father James Mills and sister Kristy.

A viewing will be from 4 to 9 p.m. today, with a memorial service at 7 p.m., at the Stanfill Funeral Home, 10545 S. Dixie Hwy. in Pinecrest.

[darkcurves]

Nice article. This makes me sad too, it must be worse for you.

[Robert]

Well to bring a closure to this, I attended the funeral.

It was open casket.

She looked nothing like the beautiful Katie Mills I came to know and love. The makeup made her look like a porcalen doll. Her hands still had dirt from the side of the highway and her face showed wounds.

When I firsted walked in htere I could see a part of her face, and above the casket was a wide screen TV showing different pictures of her. The music that was playing was Green Day - Time of your life. My eyes instantly swelled up and I couldn't look towards the front. I didn't have the strength to go to the front. I remained in the back, holding back my tears.

I was greeted by long time friends, I could see they had sorrow in their eyes as well. I went outside for air, came back in and was able to approach the casket. There she layed, the beautiful Katie Mills. I couldn't believe it.. I wanted to reach out and touch her face, I wanted to hold her and tell her goodbye.

I was happy to find out that Ryan, the kid who beat me to her, was still with her. This made me happy knowing that she was happy.

There are a lot of "What If's", I have. They'll never be answered, and I'll try not to think about them.

Katie Mills be missed.

I said my goodbyes to her, touched the casket and walked away. Knowing that that would be the last time I ever see her.

I lost a friend, but I gained an angel.

Rest in Peace Katie Mills.

Goodbye.

[jstep]

im sry man

[notnamed]

Green Day - Time of your life

Man... what a song to play at a funeral...

[Blank Verse]

I'd say it's a fairly fitting song. It's definitely a tribute song, but it has an air of positivity to it. Which I believe is appropriate. You mourn the death, and you grieve, but you want to remember that this girl died happy, loved, one would hope fulfilled to some extent. It's definitely a sad occassion, but the gift of perspective is a beautiful thing in times like these.

[trenzterra]

My deepest condolences go to you, and her family and friends... Hopefully you'll get over it soon. It's sad to see someone go suddenly, I know.

[Jan]

Thread closed at Roberts request.