How can I make money fast?

Give me some ideas, I want a thousand dollars ASAP.

You wanna know how to make money the right way?

1) Think up an idea for a website (something original and specificly people would want to visit)
2) Create that website with all the standard junk to bring back repeat visitors (forums, chat, weekly articles, etc)
3) slap a banner ad up on the page (notice i said a as in single not a half dozen on every page) and maybe a few button ads on the sides
4) keep working on the site night and day to make it the greatest site of it's kind and just hope it pays for itself initially!
5) When populor enough (if possible) start selling the prducts your site is about... like for instance say you have a beauty site, start selling makeup...

If you want to be another fly by night, spammer, looser then feel free to to do whatever you want (like get suckered into those stupid infomercial interent toolkits that the guy from Home Improvment is peddling off) and ignore my suggestions....

or you could just turn into a porn star? or a hooker? ;)

If there were an easy way to do this, doncha think we'd all be busy doing it? The quickest way is to sell something you own that is worth $1,500+ for $1,000.

I could use $100 really fast. I am under 18 so it would be really hard to be a porn star. I'd have to move to Amsterdam or somewhere like that. As far as selling drugs, that would make it possible but it's illegal and it has nasty penalties when you get caught. I guess I will just sell something that is worth $100.. I have a couple old servers that I could sell on Ebay for that much I suppose, but thanks for the good idea Chicken!

As far as really QUICK cash (as in less than a week) that isn't possible with any website period, because advertisers pay you monthly. A couple of sites that I am planning to make sometime which would give me low but residual income with practically no work involved after creation include http://www.mailbomber.com, http://www.KaBling.com, and a couple other ideas out there..