April 18th, 2006, 18:44
TheOnion.com is closing its doors
Self dubbed "America's finest news source", TheOnion.com is shutting down it's website. This is due to Amazon, the online shopping conglomerate, being interested in buying them out and promoting their own products. However, the price figure given out before was speculation. In fact, the actual offer was $465 million dollars. Also, Amazon doesn't plan to completely shut down The Onion - just gradually suffocate it.
We also have a follow up quote from TheOnion.com spokesman - "After this, I am going to buy a new car, house and wife". Another spokesperson gave us a statement "TheOnion has had a heck of a run. We are sad to lose it, but Amazon simply made us an offer we couldn't refuse."
Complete take over is said to take place May 15th.
April 18th, 2006, 19:03