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managed wordpress hosting

Need really large hosting

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Archbob

Level 8 Chinese Guy
NLC
Ok guys, I need a free dedicated cluster setup for this one site I plan on hosting today.

The site will be for an April Fools Joke site. I plan to have it up soon and it will recieve literally tens of millions of hits within the day.
I plan to spam really large lists of emails with links to the site and do some browser spoofing to force people to visit the site. I also plan to make cold calls and tell people to visit the site.

So here's what I need:
No Post to Host
No Ads
At least 4 Xeon servers in a clustered setup each with 4GB+ RAM
1GPS unmetered dedicated line

I need all of this within 3 hours
The site will only needs to be up 1 day out of the year, only on April 1st, it doesn't matter if is down the rest of the time. I just need it to be up every year on April 1st.

Happy April Fools day everyone

BTW: Do some of you who want really big plans with no ads realize how stupid your requests sound?
 
If your English hadn't been so well, I would've wondered if it were not a real request!
 
Hi Archbob,

I think I can help you out with this one, but there are a few rules attached.

1) You will get it for at least 10 years (I don't care if you use it or not)
2) You will get 1000 user accounts (I love making useless accounts)
3) I need to see statistics from the last 10 years.
4) You have to agree to backup your data every day.
5) You take care of my dog for 14 days in August ! (I will then be on holiday in Germany)

and last but not least: please use my car with gasoline pass, I only need it on saturday !

If you need upgrade(s), please let me know in time (No silly, not the hosting, the car !!!), so I can order the parts for you asap !!!

:p :p :p

PaulP.

(Nice post Archbob, and still 1 that did not get it ?" hahaha, you might even get 'serious' offers from 'new, young and fresh' hosters.)
 
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If I do get serious offers, I'll PM you guys and let you guys in on the free deals.
 
We have a 1x1 sqr meters of data centre being offered for free at unlimited time. It's even more than what you need since it can house up to 4,1,2007 dedicated servers and can supply you with 2,007,4,1GPS at a single second.

Unfortunately, some good looking guy has just bought it from us a moment ago.

So sorry, I shouldn't be posting here, but.....
 
Hi Archbob,

I think I can help you out with this one, but there are a few rules attached.

1) You will get it for at least 10 years (I don't care if you use it or not)
2) You will get 1000 user accounts (I love making useless accounts)
3) I need to see statistics from the last 10 years.
4) You have to agree to backup your data every day.
5) You take care of my dog for 14 days in August ! (I will then be on holiday in Germany)

and last but not least: please use my car with gasoline pass, I only need it on saturday !

If you need upgrade(s), please let me know in time (No silly, not the hosting, the car !!!), so I can order the parts for you asap !!!

:p :p :p

PaulP.

(Nice post Archbob, and still 1 that did not get it ?" hahaha, you might even get 'serious' offers from 'new, young and fresh' hosters.)

I do agree to take your GF for a walk every Monday you don't need her.
I will display your ads.

Please send me a private massage, if possible, asap.
(Sorry for hi-jacking this request thread, anyway, the OP is an archbishop and doesn't have interests with gals. :D)
 
I do agree to take your GF for a walk every Monday you don't need her.
I will display your ads.

Please send me a private massage, if possible, asap.
(Sorry for hi-jacking this request thread, anyway, the OP is an archbishop and doesn't have interests with gals. )

Hi Dayu,

Here is the deal, you can have my GF immediately, she is damn ugly anyway !
But beware, she is expensive to take care of.

When people ask me what the most expensive item is that I have in my house, then I answer with 'my girlfriend'.
But then again, I will immediately check the papers of MY house, maybe she already owns my house now too.... :confused2

If you are searching for a woman Dayu, then maybe Jan is still available, but be quick, Deise was already making moves hahahaha

Kind regards,
PaulP.
 
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I can offer you:

1PB HDD
1024PB Bandwidth
Unlimited features
Root Access
Virtuozzo X (You can create unlimited VPS on this server! All VPS will be powered by a special version of Virtuozzo!)
Warez and illegal sites including adult sites allowed!
New technology! 1000Pbps unmetered port!
You can run anything on it including but not limited to IRC and gameservers!
100% Uptime guaranteed!

The above server runs on super technology which will normally cost $10zillion daily!

To apply for this server, just send me a PM by today!

Now, lets have fun! :p
 
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Hi Dayu,

Here is the deal, you can have my GF immediately, she is damn ugly anyway !
But beware, she is expensive to take care of.

When people ask me what the most expensive item is that I have in my house, then I answer with 'my girlfriend'.
But then again, I will immediately check the papers of MY house, maybe she already owns my house now too.... :confused2
PaulP.

That's okay, I just need her for a walk. :p
Ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. So I'll pluck my eyes so she'll be prettier! :knockedou
:idea:



Hi Dayu,

If you are searching for a woman Dayu, then maybe Jan is still available, but be quick, Deise was already making moves hahahaha

Kind regards,
PaulP.

I think the first move Deise has to do is to remove the one who is living inside Jan's basement.
Then the second move is to remove me, who is living inside Jan's kitchen! :lol:
 
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