Freewebspace seems to be my favorite place to share my semi-pointless stories. So here comes another.
Friday night, I go to visit my best friend. It was late when I got there so we had a few beers and went to bed. The purpose of the trip was to set him up with a wireless network and his purpose was to supply me with alcohol in the process to make it fun...it was even more fun because he just bought a breathalyzer.
Wake up at noon, grab some lunch, head to best-buy to pick up all the gear he needed. Head back...time for the setup and drinking
by 3pm I had 4 beers and a few ounces of captain morgans (35% alcohol, I had one third of a bottle to start). I was blowing a 0.08...I was over the legal limit for the state of California...great. I haven't had any alcohol for a couple months so I decided I was going to make up for that.
4pm a friend of ours comes over I had probably 2 more beers and a few more ounces of the captain. I decided to call an ex-girlfriend out of the blue...I remembered her sending me her number in an email a few months back so I give her a call...we dated twice, when we were 13-14 and now she is 19 with a 1 year old kid and lives on her own and is a dance instructor
We decided I could use more food, so the three of us take off to a mexican resteraunt but not without checking my BAC 0.15%. I cleaned my plate, I had forgot how wonderful food can be while you are drunk.
We come back and find some fire-crackers just those ity-bity black cats...my friend threw one at me, I ducked, it blew up an inch away from my ear...it rang for hours, but I happened to be holding a huge rubber mallet. I threw it at him pretty hard. It hit him in the nuts. The next hour was spent apologizing. He almost threw up a few times from the pain...I wasn't so concerned about my ringing ear anymore.
6pm we went back inside the house, I decided we needed to go back to Best Buy and get an iPod before I was too sober to realize how much money I was spending. I had about 3 more beers before we left to make sure I was ok. I blew a 0.15% again
8pm came around we were back at his house we finished setting up the network by intsalling a wireless card on his moms computer. She ordered us Pizza in return.
3 more beers and 5 pieces of pizza later I setup my new iPod to my Powerbook. It is sexy...I almost got a Nano but my music library is already to big for that thing and I had about 2,000 photos to load on it.
We setup some anti-virus stuff and I went through each of the computers at his house to make sure everything was in peak condition.
At some point a huge air filtration machine fell from above my head while I was leaning over a computer and smacked me in the face, I have a nice cut on my nose to show for it.
It was now after 10pm. I downed 2 more beers and finished off all of the captain morgans, about 5 shots worth.
At some point we got the idea to check out a strip club. Before we left I blew a 0.18% if I would have waited longer I bet it would have been over 0.20 We arrived at the strip club about 11:15pm
We walk in, find some really good seats behind the best tippers in the place. We watch naked Woman dance.
There were three very very very peak points of my night...
First...
All of the strippers were up on stage dancing, I think it was a change of shifts or something.
The absolute hottest stripper walked down from the stage, goes directly behind me, moves my hair from my ear, gets about 2 inches away from me and says... "I find you very attractive sweet heart..." and walks away. At thought it was strange she didn't ask for a lap dance, it was also strange that she didn't try this tactic with any other men (or women for that matter). That was the first high point
I sort of kept an eye out for her the rest of the night, me and my friend figures she was just reeling me in to buy a lap dance, but she never came back. I told my friend...if she doesn't ask me for a lap dance for the rest of the night I'm gonna find her and ask for one.
About two dozen strippers later...close to 2am I still hadn't had her ask me for a lap dance even though nearly every other stripper had a few times. For the most part I saw her hanging out next to the alcohol free bar talking with other employees and strippers. So I decide...dammit I am getting a lap dance! I spent about 5 minutes trying to make eye contact with her, finally I do and she heads my way, she sits next to me she says a few things which I didn't hear but just smiled and nodded. Then the following sentences transpired...
me: Are you giving dances tonight?
her: Yes
me: lets go
She grabs my hand, takes me into a back room. I give her my money and before she starts *dancing* she rubs my hair and says "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR HAIR" that was peak point number two for me. I get nothing but shit from people about me growing my hair long people have tried every psychological tactic to try and get me to cut it, so this stripper was either extremely, extremely skilled and knew that commenting on my most ugly feature was a wise move or she got lucky with the right compliment. We talked for a while still before she started and she asked me the typical "where are you from, how old are you" etc.
She played with my hair all through out the dance and it was spectacular, I had no intention of getting a dance while I was there but this stripper knew just what to say and it was enjoyable...
The best thing about strippers. regardless of how skanky, cracked out, fat, skinny, or plumb ugly they are...they smell like freaking heaven.
I came back from my dance watched a few more girls go up and then they closed.
It was a fantastic trip
I'll keep peak #3 to myself but that was my night in a nutshell
Side note:
when I got back from the strip club I blew a 0.00 my friend says I should have still been drunk but since I was probably breathing extra hard at the strip club for obvious reasons and alcohol leaves your body through your breath I got sober extra fast...
that's my story...hope it doesn't get deleted.
Friday night, I go to visit my best friend. It was late when I got there so we had a few beers and went to bed. The purpose of the trip was to set him up with a wireless network and his purpose was to supply me with alcohol in the process to make it fun...it was even more fun because he just bought a breathalyzer.
Wake up at noon, grab some lunch, head to best-buy to pick up all the gear he needed. Head back...time for the setup and drinking
by 3pm I had 4 beers and a few ounces of captain morgans (35% alcohol, I had one third of a bottle to start). I was blowing a 0.08...I was over the legal limit for the state of California...great. I haven't had any alcohol for a couple months so I decided I was going to make up for that.
4pm a friend of ours comes over I had probably 2 more beers and a few more ounces of the captain. I decided to call an ex-girlfriend out of the blue...I remembered her sending me her number in an email a few months back so I give her a call...we dated twice, when we were 13-14 and now she is 19 with a 1 year old kid and lives on her own and is a dance instructor
We decided I could use more food, so the three of us take off to a mexican resteraunt but not without checking my BAC 0.15%. I cleaned my plate, I had forgot how wonderful food can be while you are drunk.
We come back and find some fire-crackers just those ity-bity black cats...my friend threw one at me, I ducked, it blew up an inch away from my ear...it rang for hours, but I happened to be holding a huge rubber mallet. I threw it at him pretty hard. It hit him in the nuts. The next hour was spent apologizing. He almost threw up a few times from the pain...I wasn't so concerned about my ringing ear anymore.
6pm we went back inside the house, I decided we needed to go back to Best Buy and get an iPod before I was too sober to realize how much money I was spending. I had about 3 more beers before we left to make sure I was ok. I blew a 0.15% again
8pm came around we were back at his house we finished setting up the network by intsalling a wireless card on his moms computer. She ordered us Pizza in return.
3 more beers and 5 pieces of pizza later I setup my new iPod to my Powerbook. It is sexy...I almost got a Nano but my music library is already to big for that thing and I had about 2,000 photos to load on it.
We setup some anti-virus stuff and I went through each of the computers at his house to make sure everything was in peak condition.
At some point a huge air filtration machine fell from above my head while I was leaning over a computer and smacked me in the face, I have a nice cut on my nose to show for it.
It was now after 10pm. I downed 2 more beers and finished off all of the captain morgans, about 5 shots worth.
At some point we got the idea to check out a strip club. Before we left I blew a 0.18% if I would have waited longer I bet it would have been over 0.20 We arrived at the strip club about 11:15pm
We walk in, find some really good seats behind the best tippers in the place. We watch naked Woman dance.
There were three very very very peak points of my night...
First...
All of the strippers were up on stage dancing, I think it was a change of shifts or something.
The absolute hottest stripper walked down from the stage, goes directly behind me, moves my hair from my ear, gets about 2 inches away from me and says... "I find you very attractive sweet heart..." and walks away. At thought it was strange she didn't ask for a lap dance, it was also strange that she didn't try this tactic with any other men (or women for that matter). That was the first high point
I sort of kept an eye out for her the rest of the night, me and my friend figures she was just reeling me in to buy a lap dance, but she never came back. I told my friend...if she doesn't ask me for a lap dance for the rest of the night I'm gonna find her and ask for one.
About two dozen strippers later...close to 2am I still hadn't had her ask me for a lap dance even though nearly every other stripper had a few times. For the most part I saw her hanging out next to the alcohol free bar talking with other employees and strippers. So I decide...dammit I am getting a lap dance! I spent about 5 minutes trying to make eye contact with her, finally I do and she heads my way, she sits next to me she says a few things which I didn't hear but just smiled and nodded. Then the following sentences transpired...
me: Are you giving dances tonight?
her: Yes
me: lets go
She grabs my hand, takes me into a back room. I give her my money and before she starts *dancing* she rubs my hair and says "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR HAIR" that was peak point number two for me. I get nothing but shit from people about me growing my hair long people have tried every psychological tactic to try and get me to cut it, so this stripper was either extremely, extremely skilled and knew that commenting on my most ugly feature was a wise move or she got lucky with the right compliment. We talked for a while still before she started and she asked me the typical "where are you from, how old are you" etc.
She played with my hair all through out the dance and it was spectacular, I had no intention of getting a dance while I was there but this stripper knew just what to say and it was enjoyable...
The best thing about strippers. regardless of how skanky, cracked out, fat, skinny, or plumb ugly they are...they smell like freaking heaven.
I came back from my dance watched a few more girls go up and then they closed.
It was a fantastic trip
I'll keep peak #3 to myself but that was my night in a nutshell
Side note:
when I got back from the strip club I blew a 0.00 my friend says I should have still been drunk but since I was probably breathing extra hard at the strip club for obvious reasons and alcohol leaves your body through your breath I got sober extra fast...
that's my story...hope it doesn't get deleted.
