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What a terrible week...

iBrightDev

iBrightDev

Jay Street
NLC
NLC
so, my wife, whom ive been with for almost five years, and been married almost 3 now, decided today that she wants a divorce. not sure when things started getting bad or why this has happened, but, if you dont see me around much for a while, that is cause i dont feel like doing anything. so, i will see you guys around. im off to cry like a little girl some more.
 
iBrightDev said:
so, my wife, whom ive been with for almost five years, and been married almost 3 now, decided today that she wants a divorce. not sure when things started getting bad or why this has happened, but, if you dont see me around much for a while, that is cause i dont feel like doing anything. so, i will see you guys around. im off to cry like a little girl some more.
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Justin, dude, I feel for you so much man. After you told me things, my heart goes out for you man. All I'm going to say is, if she's being like that with you, obviously you deserve better ;)
 
J Dawg said:
so, my wife, whom ive been with for almost five years, and been married almost 3 now, decided today that she wants a divorce. not sure when things started getting bad or why this has happened, but, if you dont see me around much for a while, that is cause i dont feel like doing anything. so, i will see you guys around. im off to cry like a little girl some more.
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Man, that's bad. I wish you the best and hope you have the quickest recovery from such things.
 
Sorry to hear that man. divorce is very hard but the best thing you can do is surround yourself with those who support you as a person (including those of us here at FWS!) and come to the harsh realization that sometimes it may be a blessing in disguise.
 
i just dont get how someone says one day that they get upset sometimes and want to just call it quits, but, know they would be even more miserable alone. and then a few days later says they want to take a break for a week or two, that they dont want a divorce and want to work things out, but, then just three days later, want a divorce and have nothing but lame --- excuses adn cant give a real reason as to what happened or why they want that.

:'(

and really, thank you for the support guys/gals. it means a lot to me. just trying to keep my head up. i once heard a great line; "Just never let your chest and your chin touch in public. Those that stand against us would love this." so, again, thanks
 
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There is probably something she isn't telling you if her decisions do not make sense to you. May I suggest marriage counseling.
 
you may suggest away, just as i have, but, she wants no part in that. that is another thing that makes no sense. before, she was all about us possibly going to see a counselor, and now, that idea is no where in sight.
 
A Marriage counsoller is an impartial mediator - therefore there is no reason to feel threatened in any way by it. So I certainly don't understand why she would not be willing to do that.
 
Have you asked her to sit down with you and just give it to you straight, like, wtf is going through her mind?

I mean, there is bound to be a reason why she wants a divorce and refuses to do anything to save the marriage?

Do you guys have kids bud?
 
no kids, thank god. and all she tells me when i ask is that she is miserable, and has been for years, then i ask if that is the case, then why did she marry me, and she says it is cause she thought things would get better. but, then she will say in the same breath that i make her happier than anyone ever has, and she knows that things just get rough sometimes. everything she says is just contradicted in the next breath, always. to be honest, i dont think she even knows what she wants or why she wants a divorce. she tried blaming it all on me, and then says it is not me, it is her, that she is f*cked up and doesnt deserve me. so, i am just so confused man. she is the most important thing in my life to me, and now im losing it.
 
iBrightDev said:
no kids, thank god. and all she tells me when i ask is that she is miserable, and has been for years, then i ask if that is the case, then why did she marry me, and she says it is cause she thought things would get better. but, then she will say in the same breath that i make her happier than anyone ever has, and she knows that things just get rough sometimes. everything she says is just contradicted in the next breath, always. to be honest, i dont think she even knows what she wants or why she wants a divorce. she tried blaming it all on me, and then says it is not me, it is her, that she is f*cked up and doesnt deserve me. so, i am just so confused man. she is the most important thing in my life to me, and now im losing it.
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I'm no expert on the subject bud but try this.

Tell her to take some time out. Go on a vacation or whatever for a week and think things through and if she still feels the same when she gets back, you will grant her what she wants. See what she thinks of that.
It also sounds to me that she is more confused than anything and obviously needs some time to sort her head out. So, maybe a break away from you and the surroundings (house etc) will help her combat this.

Dan
 
we were already on a break so she could figure things out. we started Sunday. i went to my moms house. was supposed be be for a week or two, adn now turned into her wanting a divorce. she said she wanted space, so, i tried to give it to her like she asked, and now this happens. so, im totaly lost.
 
Justin, I'm really sorry to hear about this. Until all the papers are signed she still has time to get her head straight - she obviously doesn't have it on straight right now, just because of the way she's contradicting herself. You're doing all the right things by giving her space, man, but don't let it consume you. Whether she works things out in her head and you guys at least go see a marriage counselor or whether she remains firm in her desire for a divorce, you've gotta take care of yourself too. Keep us updated; but more importantly, use this break or this downtime to focus on yourself a bit. Start a diet, read a good, improving book, work/focus on something - stay busy. Seems to me like she's not letting you in her head right now, so you might as well make sure you know what's going on in yours.
 
that is pretty much want im doing at this point. i went to the bank today to find out how to get the car she drives put in her name, so, we are going to go to the bank later to get that going. probably not till monday though. and i am just trying to let her be. hopefully she will realize the mistake she is making. not saying i am the best catching the entire world, but, i did treat her well, and i do whole heartedly love her. i will keep you guys posted though. thanks again.
 
Man, I'm sorry dude. :sad2:

Like One Man Army / OneBeLo said ... "This old cat from the hood told me out of every bad situation comes some good"
 
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