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Really Good one :: Gambler

fundoo

New Member
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”

The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.

“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.

The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”

“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.

“Like what?” asked the bartender.

“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.

The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.

“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”
:knockedou :lol:

from http://laughhard.uni.cc
 

fundoo

New Member
wha !!!. its not ma site.

when i just copy post some material people say i should also give url. when i post the url, people say i spam.

WTF
 

Decker

Officially Old!
NLC
This is the part where you grab your ankles, fundoo.
Agreed :D

Although it was a bit funny, and possibly useable.

Quick version of a joke then.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and a whisky, barman serves and the guy drinks the beer and pours the whisky into his top pocket.

Barman is confused but this continues and all night the same thing, man drinks beer and pours whisky into his top pocket.

The barman shouts last orders and the man, now unable to stand, demands another - the barman refuses and the man gets abusive.

The barman asks the man to leave to which he is told to 'come outside' for his troubles - just at that a small mouse appears from the mans top pocket and says "and bring yer feckin cat!"
 
Last edited:

Corazu

GO HABS GO
NLC
Agreed :D

Although it was a bit funny, and possibly useable.

Quick version of a joke then.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and a whisky, barman serves and the guy drinks the beer and pours the whisky into his top pocket.

Barman is confused but this continues and all night the same thing, man drinks beer and pours whisky into his top pocket.

The barman shouts last orders and the man, now unable to stand, demands another - the barman refuses and the man gets abusive.

The barman asks the man to leave to which he is told to 'come outside' for his troubles - just at that a small mouse appears from the mans top pocket and says "and bring yer feckin cat!"
Umm..no..please god no..
 

Decker

Officially Old!
NLC
Bad response - so where's yer cat?

Actually my cat would have it :)

Fist fight or weapons.
 
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