Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, someone told me that The Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. I sang them both just to make sure. They are. MLIA.
Had lots of laugh at this site! Hahaha!
Today, I did my boyfriend a favour and did his laundry since he slept over. I washed his whites and my nice shirts with bleach. They came out pink. I found the offending red thong. It wasn't mine. I essentially ruined $200 worth of my clothes to find out my boyfriend was cheating on me. FML