A little old lady went into the Bank one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the managing director of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the managing director's office.
The bank managing director then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "£165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The managing director was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Madam, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The managing director then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you £25,000 that your balls are square." The managing director laughs, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" The managing director agrees, "Sure, I'll bet £25,000 that my balls aren't square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10am as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident managing director.
That night, the managing director got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the managing director's office.
She introduced the lawyer to the managing director and repeated the bet "£25,000 says the managing director's balls are square!" The managing director agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The managing director complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the managing director, "£25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The managing director asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him £100,000 that at 10am today I'd have The Bank's managing director's balls in my hand.
A friend of mine just started his own business, manufacturing landmines that look like prayer mats.
It is doing really well. He says Prophets are going through the roof!!
