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Sometimes I think people should film me

Blank Verse

Blank Verse

NLC
NLC
OK, so I was at the grocery store today stocking up on supplies, and I decided I'd treat myself to a nice steak. I didn't earn it, but whatever. Capitalism, bitches.

So I got home and tossed the steak in the fridge for a little while, went and relaxed for a few. Time passed, and I decided it was zero hour.

I go out to the balcony, turn on the propane tank, set the knobs on the BBQ, and then I press the ignitor button. Nothing.

Press it again. Nothing. Damn. The ignitor button is pooched.

I know I have some matches inside in the kitchen, so I run inside to go get them. Being the educated and safety oriented man that I am, I leave the gas running. After digging around, I finally find the matches. I light one up, and move it closer to the grill.

Now I knew there was going to be a big flame. The gas was running. And the flame was big. No surprise there.

But the flame was TOO big. Like....Special effects from Transformers big. I saw it come up and I kinda tried to duck out of the way.

That was about 90% effective. Now I've singed part of my hair, my eyebrow, my eyelash, and I can't go anywhere without smelling burnt hair.

On the positive side, I made a damn good steak. It made everything better. Plus I was watching Smokin' Aces while I was eating, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, even if Jason Bateman was only in two scenes.

So that's me. I've always liked fire, I just don't like being it's plaything.
 
I have my own fire stories ...

My friend Ross and I were at his house and decided that a spider on his sliding glass door didn't deserve to live on this earth any longer. So I grabbed a bottle of butane (left hand) and a lighter (right hand).

The flame literally ricocheted off of the glass and singed every hair on my right arm up to my elbow.

Last time I'll play with flammable gases. But that same day we took five pieces of plastic and made a cube with one empty side, filled it up with gasoline, put the sixth side on, and taped it all up, leaving one corner leaky. Then we set it on fire and played soccer with it. I still wonder to this day how we came across six equal pieces of plastic.

The third incident, I was just being stupid (NO WAY!). I was in a MARTA station (Inman Park) waiting for the next train, broke (I had to jump the turnstiles), and hungry as hell, and I figured I should make some money while I can. I asked the guy sitting next to me on the bench if he would give me some money if I lit my jeans on fire. He said no, so I did it anyways, and ended up burning my knee rather badly.

Reflecting back on this, don't judge me by my younger ... days. They weren't that long ago.
 
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I've got several fire stories but only one sticks out in my head right now.

So this was a very long time ago, in my younger days, which actually isn't that long ago....

I was with my cousins around the 4th of July. To keep the story simple, name them Cousin 1, Cousin 2, and Cousin 3. We decided to light an artillery shot, but throw it outside to see what would happen instead of sticking it in the tube that it comes with. We were hoping the shot would turn into a fragment grenade or something of the sort. We threw the shot into the field, which was right behind my cousin's house, and it just made a loud bang. Nothing great.

A few seconds later, I noticed smoke coming from the grass and realized the field just caught on fire. I told Cousin 1 to go get water to put out the fire. Cousin 2 and Cousin 3 ran to try to stomp out the fire before it spread.

Cousin 1 at the time, was drinking root beer in a glass mug. He decided to run to the hose, dump out most of his drink and fill the cup with the hose and ran back. By the time he reached the fire, he spilled most of the water so he only poured out a few ice cubes. I had to run back and grab the hose and spray out the fire to myself.


Another story:
Some of my friends saw that video about a flamethrower super-soaker and decided to try out. We filled a super soaker with alcohol and attached a flame to the nozzle of the gun. What we failed to take into account at the beginning was that the gun, being quite old, had a leak. My friend didn't notice that a small pool of alcohol was forming at his feet. The flame on the nozzle started dropping some sparks and caught his leg on fire. Luckily we had thought in advance to keep a hose ready so no harm was done. For some reason we decided to try the trick again and it actually worked pretty well.
 
I have a fire story, but this didn't happen to me it happened to my brother a few years ago in his initial training to get into the army ....

So there was 40-50 soldiers on the side of a mountain in wales about to bed down for the night, they took up quite some room on the mountain, in the photographs the tents seem to go around corners and you can see 5-10 fires that are still lit inbetween them, they were cooking with those bottles of gas on little stoves - I have no idea what they are called - he turned the gas on the cooker thing, he held his lighter there for a minute till it lit, then closed it and turned the gas up, he said when he turned the gas up the flame went into the holes in the top of the hob and he jumped backwards but not far enough the bottle exploded and set his lower left leg on fire, this is the funny part, remember all the fires inbetween the tents well, as he ran away trying to put out the small fire on his leg, he ran through every fire on the side of the mountain and by the time he got to the other side both legs were on fire....he was wrestled to the floor by other soldiers, 2 of them were badly burned getting his trousers off him, he got second degree burns on his left leg and some nasty scars on his right and was put back about 6 months because of injuries....

I can laugh about it now although when I read it back it seems quite harsh, but this didnt happen to a normal person, he didn't ring me from the hospital the day after it happened, I heard about it 2 years after, the next time I saw him - and even then he wasn't talking to me, he was tellin everyone in the bar and I was just there, the year after it happened he went out to peru on expedition and got a traditional tattoo ( drawn with sticks ) of a warrior on fire with the word "toasty" underneath it <-- his now nickname ......
 
Blank Verse said:
I've really enjoyed the direction this thread has gone in.

Ever light a lighter on fire with another lighter? :p
Click to expand...

Nope, but if you throw it as hard as you can at the ground with the sparker hitting the 'crete, it sort of explodes.
 
Blank,

You should submit your idea to MTV. I'm sure it'll be better than 99.9% of the shows they air right now.
 
At our place, sorta in the country on and acre of land, we burn our garbage. Every few months when the pit fills up, we haul the unburnt stuff to the dump. Anyway, we burn every weekend. We scourge the house for all garbage. Well I had a box next to my desk from where I had cleaned stuff off my desk. My 13 yr old son thought it was garbage. Shortly after lighting up the pit, my wife asked where the box was. My son says he threw it in the burn pile.

Here I am thinking "Oh $hit" wondering what's going to happen to that box of bullets. I explain it to everyone. I decide pretty much nothing considering the physics of bullets. Without something solid behind the shell, and a long thin chamber for the pressure to push the bullet, they will just kinda silently poof with no real danger. Then I start hearing the big bangs and we ran as fast as we could to get behind my big solid metal barn.

Here I am rethinking my bullet physics logic. What I had forgotten, is I also had some packages of black cat firecrackers in that box, and thats what was actually exploding...lol
 
Volt.Networks said:
Not exactly, but I have thrown a few lighters into a camp fire. Interesting to watch them blow up and cause the flame to temporarily shoot up.
Click to expand...

That is fun.. ever thrown an Axe can into a camp fire? It's even more fun.. it makes a huge fireball. A friend threw a half full one in and everyone stood back. I was recording it with the vid camera on my phone. We heard a "tink" and we thought that was it and that it was really lame.. but that was just the plastic top popping off. 2 seconds later it exploded, the fireball was three times as big as the fire ring. It caught me off guard though, and i accidentally closed the lid of my phone, and it didn't save the video.. oh well
 
Blank Verse said:
OK, so I was at the grocery store today stocking up on supplies, and I decided I'd treat myself to a nice steak. I didn't earn it, but whatever. Capitalism, bitches.

So I got home and tossed the steak in the fridge for a little while, went and relaxed for a few. Time passed, and I decided it was zero hour.

I go out to the balcony, turn on the propane tank, set the knobs on the BBQ, and then I press the ignitor button. Nothing.

Press it again. Nothing. Damn. The ignitor button is pooched.

I know I have some matches inside in the kitchen, so I run inside to go get them. Being the educated and safety oriented man that I am, I leave the gas running. After digging around, I finally find the matches. I light one up, and move it closer to the grill.

Now I knew there was going to be a big flame. The gas was running. And the flame was big. No surprise there.

But the flame was TOO big. Like....Special effects from Transformers big. I saw it come up and I kinda tried to duck out of the way.

That was about 90% effective. Now I've singed part of my hair, my eyebrow, my eyelash, and I can't go anywhere without smelling burnt hair.

On the positive side, I made a damn good steak. It made everything better. Plus I was watching Smokin' Aces while I was eating, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, even if Jason Bateman was only in two scenes.

So that's me. I've always liked fire, I just don't like being it's plaything.
Click to expand...

What a deliciously brilliant story!
 
Blank Verse said:
I've really enjoyed the direction this thread has gone in.

Ever light a lighter on fire with another lighter? :p
Click to expand...

Yes I have. The sacrificed lighter was nearly empty, though, so all it did was make a poofing flame-y sound for a split second before melting onto the cement.

And my friends and I made a fire one night in one of their back yards, and decided it would be a good idea to toss a beer can onto the coals. Well, set a beer can. It was straight up. Imagine a big fountain about 7 feet high.
 
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Very nice Blank.

None of my fire stories are this good I am afraid. Yeah, we've thrown alcohol and burnables in fire to watch the flame go up and such. Sprayed hairspray on our bodies and then burn it off with fire, you know, usual stuff.

Best story I have is with fireworks though. We had these "zips" which are kind of like bees, but they go 2-directions. Very unpredictable. Well if you wait to throw them until right before the fuse goes, it is very impressive. We threw it at the last minute, and it came back and shot right up my shorts until it hit, well, you can figure that out. It was an interesting night.
 
bigperm said:
I've had to dive out of a car that caught on fire.
Click to expand...

I've actually been smoked out of my truck before. My radiator cracked and the hose that connects it to the overflow container blew off, and I was spewing coolant everywhere....the engine started smoking and it started seeping in through the vents. Luckily, and unluckily, I was on a country road and I was able to just pull over without doing any more harm to myself or anyone else on the road. But I was also in between the city and the town I was in. About 12-13 km away from where I was going. I was stranded for a little bit before a friend of mine came to my aid.

As far as setting lighters on fire, when I was in Grade 7, me and a couple of friends were doing that. They spark up pretty good. But my friend Ryan lit a nearly full one up, and that thing became a projectile, and it got him right in the knee. He had a pretty big bruise. We should have learned our lessons, but when it comes to fire, people always play around with it.
 
CAWUnited.com said:
That is fun.. ever thrown an Axe can into a camp fire? It's even more fun.. it makes a huge fireball. A friend threw a half full one in and everyone stood back. I was recording it with the vid camera on my phone. We heard a "tink" and we thought that was it and that it was really lame.. but that was just the plastic top popping off. 2 seconds later it exploded, the fireball was three times as big as the fire ring. It caught me off guard though, and i accidentally closed the lid of my phone, and it didn't save the video.. oh well
Click to expand...

I nearly blew off my hand earlier.. I set fire to an empty matchbox using lynx (it's what we call axe here), and resprayed and the lynx can caught on fire! luckily I blew it out before it got inside the actual can.
 
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