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A joke to break the bordom

I didn't know that word was a substitute for v----a. I thought of that word first too, but dismissed it.

Anyway:

A bus accident occured and all the passengers inside died. They were all very ugly.

God granted them one wish before entering heaven. The first wanted to be beautiful, the second wanted to be beautiful too, and so did the third, fourth and so on. The man right behind was laughing like crazy, and God was curious.

He asked, "Why are you laughing so hard?"
The man replied, "Well, my wish is for them to turn ugly again."
 
Three girls were stranded on an island. Suddenly a magic lamp appeared and they rubbed it, and a genie came out.

The genie said, "I will grant you each one wish."

The first girl said, "I have been stranded here for many years, I want to go back to my family..."

The second girl said the same as the first.

After they were gone, the third girl suddenly wept.

The genie said, "What's wrong?"

She replied, "I miss my friends and I want them back with me..."
 
Contains one bad word. :(
3 Guys got stuck on a island. I dunno how, they just did. It just happened. Ok?

Anyway they find this tribal god dude, and he says [in english..cause all tribal gods speak english] "To live, you must find 10 of one type of fruits and report back"

They all do so.. 2hrs later..

The first guy reports back with grapes. The tribal god demands him to stick the grapes up his arse or he will die. He starts to furfill the command.. untill the 6th one, when he couldn't take the pain no more. He dies. Doom 3 Style

The second guy comes with berries. He gets the command and starts to insert. He gets up to the 9th then bursts into laughter. He dies.

The first 2 guys were talking in heaven,
guy 1: you were so close; why did u give up!
guy 2: i saw the last guy.. he had pineapples.

The end.
 
there's a bad word? :S


A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behaviour. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman. The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!"

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8 year old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!?!" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?!?!"

At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home, slamming himself in the closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it."
 
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
 
And here's a lesson on capatilisation.

i had to help my uncle jack off a horse

vs

I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse
 
trenzterra said:
And here's a lesson on capatilisation.

i had to help my uncle jack off a horse

vs

I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse
Click to expand...


god bless bash.org
 
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